Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize