i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
