Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Randomize
