BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
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