You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
it's great music for shaving your balls
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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