you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize