I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
