Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
