i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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