I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
