I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
