it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
