I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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