can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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