you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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