To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
