HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Everclear isn't food dammit
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Randomize
