Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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