She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I wish I only lived at night.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
