I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
