it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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