I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
