Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Randomize
