my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
