I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
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