I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
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