We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
