Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
