does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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