I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Randomize