i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
