One girl and one boy is just not enough.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Randomize
