she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
