sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
