You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
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