a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
