ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I am naked and annoyed.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
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