Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Randomize
