I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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