i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
