well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Randomize
