I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Randomize
