how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
