I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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