he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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