it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
