don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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