Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
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