I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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