Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
