We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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