a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Randomize