it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Randomize
