i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
