he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
The best revenge is premature balding
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Dick very happy bro
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
