How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
