how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
