i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Randomize
