So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize
