By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
