i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
