I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Can Purell be used as lube?
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
