i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
