i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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