Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
