he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
