Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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