Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Boobs are out for the taking
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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