You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
