Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
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