Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
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