around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Randomize