I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Randomize
