the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize