Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
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