Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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